eliamargaret asked: I'm pretty sure I love you!
Anonymous asked: I just wanted you to know, I started reading your blog about 3 months ago. before then I'd never watched Parks and Rec, know I've just renamed my PVR Jerry. Thank you for changing my life
“I called 911, but first I slapped her with a piece of pizza.” 2012 just got started in my book. thedailywhat: Pizza Saves of the Day: A seven-year-old girl from Sarasota who slapped her unconscious mother with a piece of pizza became the youngest person ever to receive a life-saving award from her local fire department.
WORTH SEEING! comedycentral: John Mulaney Does a Great Ice-T I guess you could say I’m addicted to John Mulaney’s Ice-T impression, like when someone drinks too much or snorts cocaine or bets the house on the ponies. John Mulaney: New In Town premieres Saturday at 10/9c.
Bummed I didn’t get a Oscar nod for my portrayal of a man torn between what soup to get at Panera Bread. @joshkeown
How pissed would Leo Dicaprio be if someone played him in bio of his life and won an Oscar? @joshkeown
Oh yeah Instagram too. →
I really want to put more than cats & food on my Instagram but that’s all I got folks. Sorry. Maybe I’ll find a magical sunset or pretty flower sometime soon.
I have a Twitter @joshkeown →
I use it to fight evil.